dry eyes and a wet heart
i for one am not ready to go back to classes. thankfully there are only three more weeks until the end of the semester, yet that still sometimes seems like a lifetime away. i am really excited about the end of the semester but dreading the process of getting there. my sister is getting married on saturday so getting anything school related done is basically out of the question. it seems like i have a ton of stuff to do for projects, i have papers to write, tests to study for; and that is only the school part of my life. my cousin's baby got dedicated today so i went to cornerstone and the message was on compassion. it really got me thinking about how i respond to others when they are in pain and how i respond to myself. for anyone who does not know this about me i am not a crier, i haven't really cried since before school started, that is a story in itself. i have gotten watery eyes maybe a couple tears but that is it. part of that comes from spending so much time trying to hide past pain from not only others but myself. i was talking to a friend about compassion and suffering tonight and we were talking about how normal it is to try to shy away from the fact that someone is hurting and not talk about it. i know that i personally tend to like to be independent and not talk about my problems. it really doesn't do any good, i know this but i still do it at times. that is what led to the last time i cried which was also when i was having a complete mental/emotional breakdown and completely freaked christy out. it is really rather amusing to me now and kinda makes me laugh. but anyway what is it that can make showing compassion to others or letting others show it to you so hard, any thoughts?
posted by emily @ 1:01 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I think that for me it has always been wanting to fix things on my own, as well as being somewhat ashamed of the "weakness" of needing others. So many times in the bible it says to bear each other's burdens, but to me that just sounds like "be dependent." That's not something I'm geared towards, but the more we share each other's burdens the more we become spiritually committed to each other, and the more love we develop for each other. Nate said to me once that I may be hurting inside, and I may feel a great deal of compassion for someone, but I don't show it at all. He saw it as a serious problem, because it means it's almost impossible for me to love people if I'm not sharing my life with them.
Now, the real question is, can we accept each other's burdens? The answer is, of course, yes. For even as we bear each other's burdens, Christ bears them up for us, and the work of the cross is accomplished through each other and through Christ. I think we should all accept a little more of each other's burdens, how else can we become a serious family?
Kind of random thoughts, hope I actually answered your question...
-Dustin
thanks dustin, those are good thoughts. good things to think about and work towards.
I think that the reason its hard for us to really show compassion for others, and hard for us to accept compassion in return is that one way, shape, or form we have all been majorly burned in life before. There was a parent, a brother/sister, a kid at school or somebody else who really hurt us. And when that happened we reacted to it. I know for me it was my parents who wounded me, and for the longest time I built up walls reaching to the sky because I was determined that no one would ever have that power over me again. I became really, really sarcastic. Only recently has that started to fade. I think what it comes down to is that in the back of my mind, when I trust people enough to let them in and see who I really am, Im afraid that I'll be crucified by the people that I care about the most, and I really just want some certainty so that won't happen. But when I look at Christ, he knew people would kill him, and he came down to earth anyway. Christ was the best at being compassionate because He understood that the source of compassion was God, and He also understood that as long as He had that connectivity with God, that would allow him to be compassionate to the end, even to the cross. Coincidentally, it's also at the cross that we find healing and the power to be compassionate, and to receive compassion. But hey, I just woke up, and now my brain is screaming because ive been thinking pretty hard about this topic. This was a great post emily, I know your really busy with all thats going on, and thats probably overwhelming, but its ok...
cuz Christ has conquered the world=)
those are good points tj, i'm sure most people can relate to the not wanting to be burned by people and wanting to know that being real and open with others won't lead to pain. unfortunatly we are all flawed and will inevitably let those we love down and be let down by others in return. thankfully we have a God that will never let us down.
I know I grew up a rebellious, independent jerk. "Compassion" was a tool to me, I would use it to get people to like me or want my affection, but I didn't know true compassion till I experienced it myself.
People in The Rock saw my hurts and rebellion and had grace for me when I was wrong and when I wronged others. They sat patiently and listened while I ranted about everyone else's problems but my own. As I began to understand their mercy and compassion for me, my heart broke and I saw my hypocrisy.
It is hard for people to have compassion, I think, before they experience real compassion and grace from God and others. We seem to know things best when we experience them in their fullness for ourselves.
Do you feel that you've been patiently loved and cherished when you truly didn't deserve it? Have others in your life decided to bear with you even when you were clearly sinning or wrong? Have you felt like God really has compassion for you and desires to heal your hurts? Those are some of the things that can help us to grow in compassion. at least in my experience.
What Dustin and Tj said was right on, too.
Another good way to experience compassion is to make the hard decision to have compassion for others that don't deserve it, and to make that a lifestyle. Having compassion for people (especially people undeserving or unwanting of it) can quickly break your heart. When we start to have compassion for other people, we realize how much they are hurting and it opens us up to recieve much more and to give much more.
And everyone needs compassion. We all need to experience it, and live it out. Christ was all about compassion.
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